It was a typical Tuesday morning. I had been attending Bethel College for just a few weeks at this point. I was getting ready for my first class of the morning when I received a knock on my door - this was odd. It was my RD. He had a look of sheer sadness and stoicity on his face. He calmly but seriously told me that the Pentagon and World Trade Center had just been attacked. I could hardly believe what I was hearing? How could this be?!
So, after he left, I quickly turned my TV and switched it over to a news broadcast, which wasn't that hard to find. What I saw then was the World Trade Center - one of the pinnacles of our capitalist society - ablaze near the top of the building. They then switched over to show the Pentagon - the center of our national security - also on fire. Both buildings had suffered planes flying into them. There was NO WAY this was a coincidence! Already I felt sick to my stomach and as if the floor had just dropped out from underneath me. Just as I had thought that nothing else could be worse than this, I watched yet another plane fly full-speed into the second WTC tower and explode. I think that I fell to the ground. I had just witnessed (along with millions of other people) a jumbo jet full of people being flown intentionally into a building full of people. The nauseous feeling I had grew exponentially. It was as if the world was ending right before me on TV.
Bethel administration had called for an emergency prayer chapel meeting in the auditorium. As I made my way over, I saw many people walking as if zombies to this meeting. They were feeling and experiencing this just like me. Their security and peace had been stolen away. As we met for prayer, it was very heavy; however, I could still feel that God was at work in some way here. I didn't know what or how, I just knew. Still, I could help but think, "WHY?! Why me? Why our country? Why did these people have to die in this way??" No answers. As the people around me prayed, I began to calm. No, the feelings weren't gone, just I knew that God had the situation under control.
As I think about that time in my life, being a young, naive college junior, I had my innocence taken away by force. It changed me - my life, my concept of national security, my whole existence. 10 years later, I still don't have the answers to all the questions, but I am learning day by day that God has a bigger plan than what any of us can possibly understand. He is in control - that's all I need to know. No, that doesn't wipe away the loss of lives, the broken families, the state of our economy, and the wars we've fought since then, but it does help me cope with the "why". I continue to pray (probably not as much as I should) for those families who lost loved ones, the police and firefighters who sacrificed their lives in the line of duty, and whose lives where thrown in a tailspin. In addition, I pray for those people who plotted to commit this horrific act. God will be victorious and He will set it aright.
That's what I need to remember today. I will never forget - we will never forget. God is on His throne.
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